It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
