Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
