Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
