just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
