help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
