I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
