So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
