We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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