Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
