He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
