He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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