Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
