Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
