i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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