Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
