So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
