Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
