3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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