you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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