So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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