I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
