He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
