When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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