The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
