Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
