Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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