I cut my penus on the lid.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
