I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
