I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
