I need to stop coming to work sober
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
