I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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