I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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