maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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