watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
