He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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