Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
