Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
