You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
