I feel like abortions should bother me more
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
