I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
