Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
