I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
