Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
