I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
