I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm at about main and main street
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
