you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
