The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
