the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
