I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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