shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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