There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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